By Missy Katner

Lumen Assistant Editor

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By Molly Grosskreutz

A&E Editor

“The Cabin in the Woods” is a modern horror flick directed by Drew Goddard. Five college friends visit a remote cabin in pursuit of a relaxing and fun-filled weekend. Little do they know that once they cross the property line, a secret workforce monitors every move they make, aiming at making their lives a living hell.

MG: This movie heavily depends on every college student stereotype: the brain, the athlete, the stoner, the good girl, and the bad girl.

MK: Precisely. You think you know what to expect from this lame-look­ing teen horror flick—until the first scene rolls. And that is Joss Whedon in a nutshell. His fingerprints are all over this film. If you are familiar with his work — “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Dr. Horrible,” and “Fire­fly” — then you know his presence as the writer/producer is unmistak­able.

MG: Using stereotypes to establish characters made each character frus­tratingly one-dimensional, and it made it hard for me to establish a sense of empathy with any of them. At the same time, those stereotypes are crucial to the plot.

MK: I agree. I didn’t care about most of them (four out of five to be exact). But I think that’s the point. In general this movie pokes fun at hor­ror, a genre full of clichés and cheap thrills.

MG: For me, this movie wasn’t at all scary. Actually, I found myself laughing more than I was cring­ing…I also found myself cringing with laughter at the sheer unbeliev­ability of it all.

MK: I wonder if this is exactly the cringing that the filmmakers want­ed from their audience. But yes, this movie is not really intended to be a spook flick. I think it’s trying to do more than scare.

MG: The concept of this movie is cool, I’ll give it that. However, I think that the depth and potential of the solid writing were undermined by all the horror movie clichés, what with the zombie rednecks, chain­saws, and creepy gas station atten­dant.

MK: Haha! I know what you mean. The plot is so full of “What the heck?” moments that it constantly fluctuates between clever and over-the-top craziness. Almost anything we discuss plot-wise is guaran­teed to be a spoiler. I will say that the jumps from the snarky, callous white collar workers (who manipu­late the cabin kids) to the terror of their victims feel jarring at first. But I found those cross cuts increasingly entertaining.

MG: This movie felt unbalanced. I know this was marketed as a horror story, but Marty (Fran Kranz) is so utterly ridiculous as the stoner that people in the theater were scoffing, including myself. I understand that humor can complement and some­times ease the tension caused by horror…but the humor completely negated any of the would-be scary moments.

MK: I will disagree with you here, Molly. To me, Marty made this mov­ie what it was. Its intention was not to be genuinely frightening, but to poke holes in aspects of horror films. Through Marty’s haze of conspiracy theories, he is the only character to realize what is truly happening at the cabin. He functions as much more than just comic relief—he’s the voice of the audience.

MG: I was pleased to see Jesse Williams in something other than “Grey’s Anatomy.” However, his character was the flattest of them all. By the way, directors, you don’t need to slap glasses on someone to make them look smart. Either they are or they aren’t. But Jesse Wil­liams, I forgive you, because you are insanely attractive.

MK: I was so confused by his char­acter! How do you mess up a stereo­type? I feel like something crucial about him was cut to allow for more blood splatter. Just one of several questionable tidbits.

After some flip-flopping, I’ve de­cided. I was weirdly amused by this movie. Worth seeing if you want something funny, unexpected, and evil-unicorn-impaling-guys-ridicu­lous.

MG: Sigourney Weaver is in this. Surprise!

Final Verdict:

MG: Thumbs down.

MK: Thumbs up.

By Missy Katner

Lumen Assistant Editor

What can I say about the last two years with Lumen without sound­ing like a cheeseball? Probably nothing but here goes. I am a clas­sic Benjamin Braddock, hero of “The Graduate.” I knew I would go to col­lege and get a four-year degree, but that’s where my plans ended. You know, other than to live life, dis­cover bigger and better things, yada yada yada.

Where did my plan go awry? I did have one way back as a fresh­man in college. I was on a track. I would study relentlessly, graduate from Viterbo, and go straight into optometry school. It was a pretty solid plan, except for one thing—it was all wrong for me, and I didn’t want to admit it.

One person was able to derail what I thought was a foolproof plan: Sarah Lieser, a one-time Lumen re­porter. In passing, she told me about her experience on the school news­paper and urged me to apply for a job the next year.

Two years later, I have completely rerouted my path toward a career focused on writing, my true passion. So thank you, Lumen, for knocking me off my “track.”

My positive experience can be directly attributed to an excellent staff and editor, especially this year. There was always the joke: “Well who reads it anyway?” The truth is I can’t count how many times I’ve been acknowledged or thanked for our work in Lumen.

Like college in general, an expe­rience on a campus newspaper is what you make it. I will always ap­preciate (and probably miss) being able to write about almost any top­ic I wanted to like protests, world events, movies, and even the myste­rious Marian Courtyard Box.

This is where I get to urge all un­derclassmen with a deep, perhaps forgotten interest in writing to give Lumen a go at least once during col­lege. In a few short years, you could be thanking Lumen for dismantling your career path, too.

I may not have a grand post-grad scheme. I may get an “ooooh” and raised eyebrows after people ask me about my plans in this poor econo­my. But I have something now that I didn’t have when I was coasting on my strict pre-professional route: freedom.

The way I see it, I have a choose-your-own-adventure ahead of me. After graduation, the real world might smack me hard in the face. But for now, I remain optimistic and see endless opportunities.

By Jordan Murray

Sports Editor

Once upon a time, I thought about majoring in journalism. I was in high school, had no idea what I wanted to do, and enjoyed my jour­nalism class I took my junior year. Over time my focus turned towards the health-science arena and, for several reasons, I entered the field of dietetics and nutrition.

I’m very happy with my choice to become a nutrition major. I’m also very happy that I was able to get a taste of journalism by working as Lumen’s sports editor for the past three and a half years.

About halfway through my fresh­man year, I was sitting in the cafete­ria looking at an edition of Lumen. I noticed that the sports section was made up of about four brief para­graphs on the back page. I also saw, in big bold words, the phrase “SPORTS EDITOR NEEDED.”

I was immediately interested and contacted Jessica Weber, the editor of the paper at the time. I asked what I needed to do to get the posi­tion. She told me that if I sent her an article by the end of the week, I was hired. I think I was so excited to get the position that I wrote three or four.

I love sports. My life revolves around sports, probably more than it should. I grew up reading Sports Illustrated, old NBA reference books from the eighties, and every baseball-related book I could get my hands on. I would annoy my dad with questions ranging from “Who was better, Willis Reed or Dave Cowens?” to “Who had a bet­ter curveball, Bert Blyleven or Pete Vuckovich?”

This is why I’ve enjoyed writing for Lumen so much. I’ve been able to write about something I’m in­terested in, something I care about. Playing two years of baseball here at Viterbo has allowed me to develop some great friendships, but I’ve also met a ton of great people because I was able to interview them and share their accomplishments with the campus and the Viterbo commu­nity through Lumen.

I’ve also been able to have some fun. This spring’s April Fools’ edi­tion was memorable for the simple fact that I received text messages from multiple people—who shall remain unnamed—who had clearly missed the joke. Just to clarify, Viter­bo will not be adding unicycle polo as a varsity sport next year, nor will the V-Hawks be joining the Big Ten Conference. At least not yet.

I have a few people I want to thank for all the times they’ve helped me out over the past few years. Nate Beier and Eric Kunick have been in­credibly generous in sharing sports photos with me to give the sports page some color.

Jessica Weber, Zach Johnson, and Kasie Von Haden have been great editors to work with; there have been many times when I haven’t quite met my deadline and they were all understanding with me when I was running a bit behind. The rest of the staff has been consis­tently great each year as well, help­ing me with ideas and advice when I needed it.

And Lyon Evans—he’s the guy that picks up our pizza for layout meetings on Sunday afternoons. I think he reads over our articles too. Thanks, Lyon.

Finally, to all of you who read Lumen, thank you. We’ve gotten lots of positive feedback from read­ers this year, and I hope the Viterbo community continues to show Lu­men the support we’ve received this year.

By Kasie Von Haden

Lumen Editor

Every other Sunday, or so, I roll out of bed, and with a big cup of cof­fee, I go to the Press Room. I’m the first to arrive, so I turn on the lights, open the windows, and crank up my Pandora station for the day. I settle in and begin reading articles submit­ted to me by my staff members, and after, I write my own for the issue. Staff members trickle in; we copy edit, discuss the articles, talk, and eat pizza.

Then, the staff leaves, and I am left alone with the paper. Eight to 10 hours after arriving, meeting, and making changes, I close up the Press Room and am done with another is­sue.

These Sundays have come to be one of my favorite parts about my senior year.

During my time at Viterbo, I’ve had the opportunity to wear several different hats. Apart from being an English major, I’ve been a resident assistant, a tour guide, an event pro­grammer for VU After Dark, and a tutor. I’ve also been a part of Lumen staff for the past two years, which is something I never thought I’d have on my hat rack.

I never liked reading newspa­pers, so why did I decide to write for one? The main reason I decided to apply for Lumen when I was a soph­omore was because I knew it would look good on a resume and some of my friends were on staff. That seems to be the typical response to why we get involved – to put it on our resumes so we can show future em­ployers that we have diverse inter­ests and talents.

Well, Lumen has impacted me far beyond that. I’ve met a number of interesting people, worked with talented writers, and established so many connections through this pa­per.

For my first year on staff, I served as the Campus Life Editor, and wrote stories about club and organization events, speakers, and changes oc­curring on campus. For my second year, though, I’ve had the privilege of serving as Editor-in-chief of Lu­men, and I’ve loved every moment of it.

In particular, I can recall two sto­ries which I really enjoyed working on and writing. Last year, I wrote a story about how the Viterbo Gay-Straight Alliance wanted to become a student organization. I interviewed several students and President Art­man to get a few different perspec­tives. I liked this story in particular because it was about a controversial topic for a Catholic university, but I felt like those who I talked to were really open and respectful, which I appreciated.

Another interesting story is the one I recently wrote about Don­ald and Marilyn Finn. They were a joy to meet and talk with, and they were just as excited to talk to me. They welcomed me into their home, shared their history with me, and they were sure to treat me to Spe­cial K bars before I left. What a great way to end my time on Lumen.

While I’ve enjoyed interviewing people, putting articles together, and editing and making changes to the layout of the paper, most of the joy associated with my involvement in Lumen is when I see the newspa­pers disappearing from the stands and hear people talking about sto­ries and opinions presented in each issue. So, with that, I thank all of Lumen’s readers – you are who we write for.

I sure am going to miss this.